Loathers.net Itâs a cane! Itâs a sword! Itâs a candyswordcane! You can whip out the sword in the middle of your fights⌠and other adventures. That means noncombats, allowing you to do a wide variety of fun, silly things both inside and outside an ascension context. Letâs turn this candy cane into a shiv and stab right into the meat of the item.
The core item is a one-handed weapon. Itâs a cane, not a sword, although the flavor text (obviously) implies it to be a peppermint-scented combination of the two. Your trusty candyswordcane comes equipped by default with a handful of cute effects:
For the flat weapon damage, the X in the equation stands for the number of combat skills youâve used. Ergo, the caneâs flat weapon damage will increment by 5 every time you use one of the caneâs two combat skills:
These skills are both limited to 11 per day. Every time you use one, you get (30 - X) turns of âPeppermint Rushâ, an effect thatâs essentially âsugar rush, but doubledâ (IE, +10% mus/mox, 40% init).
In addition to these combat benefits, wielding the candyswordcane also enables a ton of new flavorful noncombat choices across the game, in areas both relevant and irrelevant to speed ascensions. The available noncombat choices are still being spaded, but for now, here are the top 7 options for speed ascenders.
| Zone | Description & Reward |
|---|---|
| Wartime Frat/Hippy Camps; all NCs | Redirects to the correct âstart the warâ noncombat. |
| The Shore | Once per ascension, lets you go on a special trip; this trip gives you two Shore Inc Trip Scrips instead of one! |
| Black Forest | Once per ascension, instantly completes 8 of the 50 exploration you need to unlock the black market |
| A Mob of Zeppelin Protestors | In the sleaze damage protestor-clearing NC, gain an option that doubles the protestors ousted in the NC. So, if you wouldâve ousted 20 protestors, you instead oust 40! |
| Daily Dungeon | Once per ascension, at the 2nd boring door NC, you can get an extra fat loot token atop the skip. (Also, the cane itself acts as an eleven foot pole, a welcome respite for no-familiar paths!) |
| Hidden Bowling Alley | Can bowl once per ascension using your cane from the bowling ball NC; this is a free action, cutting down both the number of bowling balls needed and removing the need to spend a turn on one of your bowling NCs |
| Hidden Apartment Building | At the final NC that leads to the protector spirit, get a once per ascension choice that adds one to your curse level; this allows you to free up either one liver of space from a cursed punch, or one fight against a pygmy shaman. |
In addition to these, thereâs a number of fun flavor options â you can get free swords in the Haunted Library, free meat once per day from the Northeast Overgrown Shrine, a free priceless diamond in Copperhead Club. Out of run, you get a bit of free clownosity for your nemesis quest, some free papayas, and other various sundries. Thatâs a lot of stuff, man!
Obviously, the noncombat choices are where the majority of the candyswordcaneâs power budget lies. So many of these options are unique and powerful, giving players more agency and control over various RNG-riddled parts of the puzzle. To give a small, non-exhaustive attempt to count the turns this item saves in a speedrun:
That nets out to 16-20 turns of savings per run, just from the NCs. Thatâs a hell of a lot! No, it isnât BOFA/CMC level, but itâs clearly in the range of the top-tier âyou should REALLY get thisâ IOTMs that a KOL player requires if they happen to have a need for speed.
Beyond this, I think itâs worth calling out that there are a few smaller, non-NC related benefits as well. First, the Surprisingly Sweet Slash skill is a cute survivability tool that also has one important speedster benefit: it helps towerkill the Wall of Bones in situations where your path has any issues doing so. In general, towerkilling the wall in Standard paths is pretty straightforward, but that can be complicated significantly in weird avatar paths where you donât have any group damage skills. Finding an electric boning knife can be a total pain in the ass sometimes, and having methods in your pocket for killing the wall yourself can help shave a few turns off your run. Luckily, the Wall of Bones is impacted in the way you expect by shrinking powder-esque tools like the Sweet Slash and the Autumnic Bomb. This means that you can use the slash to dramatically reduce the core damage you need to deal to the wall, making your life MUCH easier.
Second, this IOTM fulfills a similar role to the June Cleaver â it does a ton of work trivializing combat. While it isnât quite as busted as the Cleaver, what with its +500 guaranteed-to-hit damage by the end of a 1-day run, the roughly 200 damage bonus you can get from using most of your skills and adding a handful of easy weapon damage effects should put you in slashing distance of virtually any monster in the game. This isnât something that results in âdirectâ turns saved in a speedrun, but it isnât useless. Just about every speedrunner worth their salt can remember a time or two where they accidentally died to a monster they should have been able to oust in a speedrun, costing them a turn (or more) in resources lost or turns inadvertently spent. Combat trivializers like this go a long way towards evicting those mistakes and removing the chance of a screw up.
Weâd rate the Candy Cane Sword Cane a tier 1 IOTM, with 7-15 turns of savings per day. This is a little bit of a weird one â in a 1-day run, this guy is -easily- a run-defining tier 0 IOTM with 20 turns of benefit. But virtually all of the caneâs savings are localized in once-per-ascension benefits, rather than repeatable daily benefits. But the fact that you can get around 20 turns of benefit in 2-days makes it an easy tier 1 item, and (frankly) 1-day runs are doable enough in modern standard that I wouldnât disagree too much if you erred more on the side of a tier 0 over a tier 1. Itâs REALLY good, folks.