Captain Scotch is a man of many names: Captain Scotch, Doc Rostov, Jalen, the Corncob Heartthrob, the Goth Ginobili, Air Prepare, [insert legal name here], and "the guy whose profile pic is a bird but kind of looks like a monkey." He is a diminutive data scientist who resides in Richmond, Virginia. Scotch is a loathers administrator, a maintainer of TourGuide, a happily married vegetarian, a speed ascender with a handful of golds, a former NBA blogger for ESPN, a lover of corncobs, and a maker of many lists.

Unlike Scotch, Gausie just has one name: Percy Gausie, the nemesis of Icebox Slim and Pinwheel Slick. Wait, no, that's just in Scotch's head. Gausie is a highly adept coder, longtime KoLMafia dev, and similarly longtime member of the KOL /dev team. Gausie is known for remarkable productivity and pushing out unfathomably quick solutions to complex problems, his beautiful daughter, his hatred for the British monarchy, his radical leftist insights, and for being the primary point of contact for virtually every public-facing tool the Loathers collective has made. What a ridiculous dude. Couldn't be me. (Could be Gausie, tho.)